About Me

About Me

My husband John and I had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in Hawaii, but we had actually been together 35 years - when on July 15, 2013, our lives were changed forever. My handsome, successful, charming, athletic 59 year old husband was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and only lived for six weeks. 

I was left (almost) completely alone except for a few girlfriends. We had no children, and I had no living family whatsoever. John was my only family and my whole life. We were pretty much inseparable.  I hadn't worked in many years because he was semi-retired and we traveled often. We were still in love and enjoyed a Fairy Tale kind of life. 

Once John was gone, I didn't have the distractions of a career, family or even a  hobby, so I was forced to bear the full onslaught of shock, intense sorrow and extreme aloneness in a big empty house.

I had once worked as a journalist, but for the first 16 months I was so devastated and confused that I didn't feel like writing. After taking an online grief writing workshop I became inspired to write again and this blog will document my journey through grief. When I say "through," I don't expect there will ever be an end to the long, dark tunnel of grief. But I do believe that with time and work it can become a little easier to bear. I can hope for some illumination and joy along the way. Yet I will not be painting any rosy pictures of "recovery" from grief. My words will be like my feelings - intense and raw. Although we all experience grief differently, I do believe that the deeper the love, the more intense is the grief.

As widowed people, we know our society doesn't want to hear or see our grief - it makes people very uncomfortable. Yet we need to allow ourselves to feel and express it because if we suppress it, we can literally make ourselves ill. To me, my grief is like the fire inside a volcano. If it can't vent, then it either implodes or explodes - neither of which is healthy.

If you are grieving, I'm so sorry you are here, but you are not alone. Perhaps you will be inspired to write about your own grief journey. Thank you for visiting my blog. 

Diane